When my husband was an elder he jumped when ever anyone needed him. When we were newly married we did not have a marriage he was gone all the time, taking care of the flock. He used to tell me that if I did not like it I should never have married an elder, I did not know being married to an elder meant that I was dirt to everyone in the hall.
I was young and stupid, I thought I was his wife and that I mattered some, I did not matter when it came to the congregation, I was always second or third or so down the line. My needs never played any part in our marriage only the needs of the hall. I was not asking for a lot just dinner once a week together would have been nice but he was the only elder for most of the first four years of our marriage and I was way down the list of people who mattered.
Then he had a major heart attack while he was conducting the school. The other elders let me drive him alone to the hospital and only one elder and his wife came up to the hospital afterwords. NO one called the next day to see how I was doing much less my husband. They had him back conducting the school the next week even though it had been a major heart attack and he had, had surgery to put a stent in his heart.
His second major heart attack two years letter I called the PO's Cobe's wife while I was driving to the hospital and she told me she could not come to the hospital to be with me as she had to go out in service. No one came and the Chaplin who meant me at the door was shocked to learn I was a JW. She told me she had never seen anyone who belonged to a church be left alone like I was as no one came up to be with me. My husband was the school overseer at the time.
Also when I was first married the CO told me that I could have a husband in the new system as Jehovah needed him now when I talked to the CO about what I hard time I was having being newly married and never having any time together.
And just one more point one of the reasons his health is not so great I feel is that he did not have the money for good food when he pioneered which was for 17 years, as he was a window washer and lived on nothing to pioneer. Granted he has other factors that caused his heart attack but not having money for food was not a help. He ate as cheep as he could.
LITS